Dear South Africa

Dear South Africa,

It's - 9 outside, the sun pretends to be shining but it's kind of sucking at it, and I'm cold. Even inside my 'heat included in the rent' apartment. I'm trying my very best not to think of you, you with your 'Skool vakanie is hier' summer vibe going on. Then I read this article about moving back to SA and my best intentions of embracing yet another Christmas without my family and this stupid cold went out the window (which you must know, is impossible because all my windows are double glass and shut super tight).

I also just had a nice long chat with my parents on Viber, about the places we'll go and the meat we'll eat once we do come visit you, hopefully early next year. My goodness do I need you, I need your affordable lamb chops and wine, your beaches, your lions, Woolworths! I need Woolworths!

It feels necessary somehow, to write this letter to you. It's after a year of leaving you that I need to say, it wasn't you, it was me. I didn't leave because I thought you were going to the dogs, or because of that awkward 'held at gunpoint' incident of early 2012. I left due to meeting this super hot guy while cheating on you with Vietnam, sorry about that by the way. So, yeah, something about leaving for love.

Don't be too concerned about me though, I don't hate it here in this strange land,  I will even miss this place once I leave some day. Isn't that just the lot of an expat? Your heart get's left in all these places and you wonder if you'll ever totally feel at home in one place again. Might just be me. Maybe home is not about a place?

I just wanted to write to you and say I'm totally rooting for you. You're one of kind. I know you have problems, turns out, so does every other country. Despite the etolls and that clown of a current  president, I still think you're the best country on earth and I still can't imagine saying that we'll never move back. I don't know if and when, but I also don't know a ton of other things. Like the rules of rugby (still) and what the hell EFF stands for, because surely it can't actually stand for Economic Freedom Fighters can it?

This letter isn't really about me being homesick for you, or about listing the 204 things I miss about you, I just thought we should, you know, touch base. Let you know that I'm thinking about you and that despite not hanging out for a while I'm still totally crazy about you.

Love,

'n boeremeisie x

2 hours after I first posted this: I just learned that Madiba has passed away. I've typed out at least 7 different sentences here and I keep deleting them, I guess nothing can really be said other than rest in peace great man. We love you. 

9 things I'm still not completely used to

I should note that half of these still-strange-to-me things have to do with driving, and I've only been driving here for a few weeks.

Other than that I've lived here coming on 9 months.

(Doesn't anything that lasts 9 months make you think of having a baby?)

Well I'm not having a baby, but I am surprised at what still surprises me here in good ol US of A:

1) Turning right at red robots.

I often forget that this is allowed when safe to do so. Thankfully Spokane drivers don't honk, they are the politest drivers I've ever driven amongst. So sorry about that guys, I'm working on it.

2) Still not calling robots "traffic lights" like the rest of the normal English speaking world.

3) When people say 'rufff' instead of 'roof'

It makes me giggle every single time, it honestly sounds like a cute puppy barking. In my defense my accent is the odd one out around here, so I get to laugh in your face on the inside.

4) How blue-sky, short-shorts, forever-days, melt-my-ice-cream, sexy-yummy-hot the Spokane summer has been.

I think about this everyday. I love it, can you tell?

5) Putting our automatic car in 'park'.  I forget.

At least I'm walking to the right side of the car 8/9 times as opposed to the 3/9 times of earlier months.

6) Just how much I miss my friends and family still.

It's a crazy amount of a lot.

...sniff, sulk, throws self on floor like a Disney princess and sobs for 3 minutes.

I'm okay, moving on.

7) That leaving my handbag or cell on the passenger seat (for everybody to see), isn't the dumbest thing I've ever done.

I've not heard of one smash-and-grab incident here.

8) Speaking of that... The fact that walls (never mind electrical fencing and spikes) are not a thing here.

I still can't help looking into people's yard and front windows to see what they have, just because I can! So again, Spokane guys, sorry, that creeper is me. (but seriously, hang a curtain, that Mac computer on display is making me nervous)

9) How expensive it is to get to South Africa.

It's literally on the other side of the planet. Why! 

I'll check in with you guys again in a few months, see how my progress is going. Talk about rufffs and traffic lights and such, okay? 

you know you're homesick when:

(or you know you're a South African expat when:)

+you suddenly find yourself caring about cricket and soccer (and it's not even a world cup)

+you get strangely emotional when disposing of products you bought in South Africa, especially if the 'directions' are in English and Afrikaans.
 
"when will i be able to buy Clicks Rooibos body lotion again" you yell through sobs and sniffs.

+you miss food you didn't even know you liked while in South Africa

"i'd trade a Dairy Queen Avalanche for a koeksister any day" you declare.

... did you even like Koeksisters Lanette? ...?

+you start going down strange YouTube rabbit holes.

 (YouTube is to expats what Match.com is to lonely hearts)

++ so you listen to more Afrikaans music than you ever did while in South Africa

you realize "Lisa se klavier" is the most beautiful song you've ever heard.
you realize you know all the words to "De La Rey" ... and that makes you little uncomfortable
but then you realize you also know all the words to "Nkalakatha"so you feel better.

++ YouTubing Nandos ads would also not be uncommon.

++YouTubing the 7de laan's tune when it's 6:30pm, just for fun.

+ you regret not buying a Nelson Mandela poster for your living room. 

 +you regret not buying a few things...

+Rooibos tea never tasted so good


+you cry a little when people send you pictures of 'braai vleis' (BBQ)

i personally hide in corners rocking from side to side when ever someone mentions my dad's pooitjiekos. (like a type of stew but way more awesome)

 +you feel like you've failed your country by not buying a Spingbok rugby jersey to wear everyday.

+so you wear African inspired t-shirts from Big Blue and Mr. Price under your coat.

+you might be found humming the National Anthem, well a mix between humming and singing and making up a word here and there
" Nkosi Sikelel iAfrica, maluphakanywa something something ay yo, iswa... something something... UIT DIE BLOU VAN ONS SE HEMEL...and so forth "

i do love our national anthem, really. (this is cool version... goosebumps (yup, homesick))

+you tear up when other people get to go to South Africa, this post by the Everywhereist on South African fudge had me reach for the a tissue or two. (and i don't even like fudge)

+you suddenly take up swearing in Afrikaans, because, well who would know. (dis 'n klein grappie ma)

+you truly believe that South Africa is the most beautiful place on earth.

oh, but you'd be right

+you write a post about "you know you're homesick when:"

how about you? do you have any tell tale signs of being homesick, or what would you think would make you feel this way if you were far from home? i'd love to know.

... or maybe it's just me?

disclaimer: i didn't leave South Africa because i've lost all hope in the country, but i also didn't leave South Africa against my will. just felt like i needed to add that in there. i love South Africa and i love that i've immigrated to the States, both these sentiments are true it's not one over the other for the most part... if that makes sense.